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of life vanishes into ether, and is no more, when once the laws of the vital union are broken. Death itself is nothing, and after death is nothing; take courage, man : either die like yourself, master of your own fate and happiness, so long as it is to be kept; or else recover, and live worthy the character of a person, who knows how either to live or die. So wish es," &c.

This letter was but fuel to the tormenting flame, before in the breast of the sick gentleman; who immediately dictated the following answer :

« Sir,

"Being not able to use my own, I have borrowed another hand, to answer yours. You say well, it is a more grateful office to endeavour to remove the disorders of the mind than of the body. What you urge of the common lot of mankind, as death and sickness, I could wish were my case; but my affliction is, that despair and hell are the common lot of Atheists. Now your argument cannot reach my case, unless you first prove that Atheism is as inevitable as death and sickness, and that therefore the effects of it are to be borne patiently, unless a man will combat necessity, and fight against the laws of fate. I have formerly ased this way of arguing myself, but wonder now how I could ever think it conclusive. You say, that if we examine death and its supposed consequences by our reason, those formulable monsters grow tame and familiar: if, by our reason, you mean either that peculiar to Atheists, or the common reason of human nature, I am sure these monsters

will grow less tame and familiar, the more we think of them: since no reason shews what an unexperienced death is, or what the change consequent upon it, how can we judge of things we do not know? Reason on such things as long as you please, and you will be at last as far from the truth as when you began. Your argument is extremely weak about a pre-existent and a future state: I retain no impression of past happiness or misery, therefore there is none to come; how that is a consequence, I do not see. Next you would have me believe, upon your bare word, that death is nothing, and after death is nothing: pray, how do you know, having not yet tried? There are a great many that say the contrary. I have only concerned myself with the rationality of your letter, that you may believe I am not distracted; which I would desire you to believe, that what I am going to say may not have less weight with you. It is true, and whether you believe it or not, you will find it so at last; if I could force you to believe it I would all I can do is, to deal with you as a reasonable creature, by opening my breast to you, and then leaving you at your liberty to act as you please. While we are in health and business, we may act contrary to our intentions, and plead for the thing we believe not; but when we coine to die, the vizard is taken off, and the man appears as he is. This is my condition,

and therefore I can have no motive to impose upon my friends. Religion is no impostor, heaven and hell are real, and the immortality of the soul as certain as the existence of the body: for a time

we have officiously deluded and cheated ourselves out of religion and happiness; and GoD, who will not always be despised by his creatures, has chosen me as an example to you all, and a warning to the lazy and indifferent Christian. But who, alas! can write his own tragedy without tears, or copy out the seal of his own damnation without horror! That there is a GOD, I know, because I continually feel the effects of his wrath: that there is a hell, I am equally certain, having received an earnest of my inheritance there already in my breast that there is a natural conscience, I now feel with horror and amazement, being continually upbraided by it with my impieties, and with all my sins brought to my remembrance. Why GOD has marked me out for an example of his vengeance, rather than you or any other of our acquaintance, I presume, is, because I have been more religiously educated, and have done greater despite to the Spirit of Grace. What egregious folly is it for dust and ashes to contend with its Creator, to question his justice, his power, yea, his very being; when at the same time, without this GOD, every such wretch would immediately fall ⚫ into nothing, being without him not able to exist one moment? What vile ingratitude is it scurrilously to reflect on his religion, who died to reconcile such reflecters to himself? Do not mistake yourself; it is not a light matter to contend with the GOD of nature, to abuse religion, and deny its Author, and (what is worst of all) to apostatize from it, as I have done. GOD has met with me for it, after a long for

bearance of my inveterate impieties and profaneness. Let me entreat you to leave off your sins; who knows but God may yet receive you? I speak not this out of any love to virtue, or hatred of vice (for I am hardened and impenitently reprobate); but, like Dives, I am unwilling my brethren should come into this place of torment. Make what use of this you please; only remember, that if it does not reclaim it will enhance your guilt, possibly to be overtaken in this world, as I am by the just judgment of God; if not, be sure you will be met with hereafter, which is all, from, &c."

As soon as the letter was read and sent, the night being far worn, we all took our leave of him, wishing him good rest, and a happier condition the next day. To which he replied, "Gentlemen, I thank you, but my happiness is at an end; and as for my rest to night, thus I spend the little remainder of my miserable moments. All the ease I expect will be wishing for the day, as in the day time I wish for the night, and in a fearful expectation of my dissolution, and the account I must make upon it. But, Gentlemen, good night to you; and remember me, to confirm you in the religion I have disowned, that you may stand more cautiously by my folly, and secure the happiness I have forfeited."

The next day came several of his friends out of the country. Having had an account of his circumstances, one of them told him that he and several more of his relations came to town, and were sorry to find him in so weak a condition as he appeared to be in; for now he was nothing but skin

and bone, the agonies he lay under doing the work of the quickest consumption.

He answered, "I am obliged in common civility to thank you all but who are my relations? Our Saviour said, such as did the will of his heavenly Father were his relations. I may properly say, that none but the Atheists, the reprobate, and such as do the work of the devil, are my rela tions. This little tie of flesh and blood will dissolve in a moment, but the relation I have with the damned is permanent. The same lot, the same place of torment, the same exercise of blasphemy, and the same eternity of horror, will be the common lot of us all; so the similitude of torments, place, and duration, will join us in a very strict union."

His friends, who only had heard he was distracted, hearing him deliver himself in such terms were amazed, and began to inquire of some of us, what made him talk at such a rate? He, hearing them whispering together, and imagining the cause, called them all to him, and said,

"You imagine me melancholy or distracted: I wish I were either; but it is part of my judgment that I am not. No; my apprehension of persons and things is rather more quick and vigorous, than it was when I was in perfect health; and it is my curse, because thereby I am more sensible of the condition I am fallen into. Would you be informed why I am become a skeleton in three or four days? See now then I have despised my Maker, and denied my Redeemer; I have joined myself to the Atheists and profane, and continued Vol. II. No. 1.

E

this course under many convictions, till my iniquity was ripe for vengeance, and the just judgments of GoD overtook me, when my security was the greatest, and the checks of my conscience were the least. Since I have denied that salvation which cometh by Jesus Christ, there is no other Mediator or Intercessor for sinners; if there be, which is he that can redeem my soul from hell, or give a ransom for my life? No, no; "if we sin wilfully after we have received the knowledge of the truth, there remains no more sacrifice for sin, but a fearful looking for of judgment and fiery indignation to consume the adversary." "There remains no more sacrifice for sin," that is the wound that pierces my soul. CHRIST JESUS was the only expiatory sacrifice GoD would accept ; I not accepting, I would say, I despising this, there remains no other for me to accept of, no other to make atonement and satisfaction for me; there is no other name given under heaven but the name of JEsus, whereby we may be saved, and it is that JESUS whom I have reproached, and ridiculed, and abused in his members; nay, to whom I have induced others to do the same. Methinks your breasts are all open to me, and, in the midst of your pity and surprise, you would bid me hope and believe, and supplicate the mercy I have abused, because JESUS CHRIST came to save sinners, and to bring to repentance. In that I know all your thoughts. Alas, how fain would I hope and believe! Can a man in torments not desire to be freed from them? No, assure yourselves I would upon any terms; but the wrath

of God obstructs the power of way, and lay in a swoon for a considerable time; but, by the help of some spirits, we brought him to himself again. As soon as he had opened his eyes, he said, "Oh, cruel, unkind friends, to awaken me from a dream, in which I had a cessation from my torments!" This he spoke with so lively a concern, that no one could refrain from tears. "You weep," said he, "but your tears come too late. Was I like another person that goes out of the world, it would be one of my greatest troubles to see you weep, or at best it would add to my pains; for he must be unnatural and senseless that would not be troubled at the afflictions of others, especially his friends and relations. But the case is otherwise with me. My cup is full, and runs over already; the bitterness of my soul is as great as it possibly can be in this world; my heart is full of horror and anguish; no grief can add to mine, being so great, that it is incapable of receiving more. Perhaps this may seem a paradox to you at first; but what think you of time, and eternity which comprehends and swallows up all time? Can any one add any thing to the wrath of God, which includes the fury of devils and men; this being derivative from, and independent of that? And can any one add to my grief and torture, who am fallen into the hands of the living God? No, no; reserve your tears for your sins, and cast them not away upon one who is neither the better nor the worse for them." You may easily imagine what impressions this would make upon the spirits of his friends. However, in the midst of their grief and

hoping and believing, and though would, I can do neither. I know not what some divines mean, who say, He that desires to repent, does it in some measure; I experience the contrary. A fruitless wish that comes not in to act, is no more than a conviction which shall lay such persons under great condemnation. You would have me supplicate that mercy I have abused. Alas, of that I have no hopes, but what depend upon abused mercy! But why said I hopes? I have no hopes! My hopes are frustrated, my expectations are cut off; and what remains behind? Why am I bid to hope and believe? Oh, what mockery is this upon me! To find me in misery, and bid me be happy, without affording me any power of being so! Indeed, should JESUS CHRIST say so to me, it would be comfort; but for you to say so, is the same thing as to bid a malefactor shake off his chains, and assume his liberty; or call up the dead to rise out of their graves, and challenge their estates and honours again. How idle is it to bid the fire not burn when fuel is administered, and to command the seas to be smooth in the midst of a storm! Such is my case; and what are the comforts of my friends? But I am spent, I can complain no more. Would to God that the cause of my complaining would cease! The cause of my complaining this renews my grief, and summons up the little strength I have left to complain again, like an expiring blaze, before it is extinguished. It is just so with me but whither am I going?"

::

As he said this, he fainted a

But

amazement, they had the prudence to think of the reputation of their family, and to provide for as much secresy as was possible. They therefore conveyed him by night to new lodgings. he was grown so weak that he fainted away several times in the chair; they got him into his chamber, and to bed, as soon as they could. After a little rest, he yet found strength to express himself thus:

"I am not concerned to know whither you have brought me, or your reasons for so doing. It had been something, if you had changed my state with my lodgings: but my torments are greater than before; for I see that dismal hour just at hand, when I must bid you all farewel."

The physicians were now sent for again, but they still declared they could do nothing for him; only they ordered him some cordial julep, which, they said, might strengthen nature to hold out two or three days longer, My business calling me away for a day or two, I came again on Thursday morning pretty ear ly; when I came in, I inquired of his friends, how he spent his time. They told me he had, had little company; and his expressions were much shorter than before; but what he did speak seemed to have more horror and despair than before. I went to his bed-side, and asked him how he did.

He replied, "Damned and lost forever." I told him the decrees of God were secret; perhaps he was punished in this life to fit him for a better. He answered, "They are not secret to me, but discovered; and my

greatest torment, my punishment here, is for an example to others. Oh, that there was no God, or that this God could cease to be, for I am sure he will have no mercy upon me!" "Alas," said I, "there is no contending with our Creator, and therefore avoid such words as may provoke him more.""True," replied he, "there is no contending; I wish there were a possibility of getting aboye God, that would be a heaven to me." I entreated him not to give way to such blasphemous thoughts, for Here he interrupted me. "Read we not in the Revelations of them that blasphemed God, because of their pains? I am one of their number. Oh, how do I envy the happiness of Cain and Judas?"" But," replied I, " are yet alive, and do not feel the torments of those, that are in hell,"

you

He answered, "This is either true or false; if it be true, how heavy will those torments be, of which I do not yet feel the uttermost? But I know it is false, and that I endure more than the spirits of the damned; for I have the very same torture upon my spirits that they have, beside those I endure in my body. I believe at the day of judgment the torments of my mind and body will both together be more intense; but as I now am, no spirit in hell endures what I do. How gladly would I change my condition for hell! How earnestly would I entreat my angry Judge to send me thither, were I not afraid that out of vengeance he would deny me!" Here he closed his eyes a little, and began to talk very wildly, every

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