Divergent Realities: The Emotional Lives Of Mothers, Fathers, And AdolescentsFamily dysfunction has been blamed on many causes - the absence of fathers, mothers working outside the home, lack of money or social supports. But, argue the authors of this original and provocative book, it is often presence rather than absence that lies at the heart of troubled families. In fact, they show that it is common for family members to be in the same room and yet be oblivious to each other's thoughts and feelings. Family life breaks down because members experience the same event in different ways and are unable to bridge the gap. How can adolescents and well-meaning parents be so out of touch? What are the daily sources of conflict between husbands and wives? What windows of opportunity does contemporary life provide for family members to talk with and appreciate each other? To answer these questions, the authors used the unique Experience Sampling Method. Fathers, mothers, and adolescents carried electronic pagers for a week and provided reports on their activities and emotions at random times when signaled by the researchers. Already employed to great effect in studying individuals (the method served as the basis for Larson and Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi's book Being Adolescent and the latter's Flow), this is the first time this technique has been used to uncover the dynamics of family life. The result is an unprecedented study revealing the hour-by-hour emotional realities lived by families in middle America: the daily clash between fathers, who experience their family life as a refuge, and working mothers, who arrive home each evening to a six o'clock "crash"; between the world of young adolescents, whose emotions can be perilously out of check, and their parents, whose lives focus on emotional equilibrium. The authors demonstrate that these and many other divergent realities provide a breeding ground for dysfunctional family processes, and they discuss creative ways for families to surmount the emotional hazards of everyday life. |
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Page 85
For a remarkable 28 percent of the random times they were signaled , they
reported feeling “ very happy . ” One mother expressed astonishment at how
exuberant her sixth grader seemed to be when he came home from school ; in
fact , she ...
For a remarkable 28 percent of the random times they were signaled , they
reported feeling “ very happy . ” One mother expressed astonishment at how
exuberant her sixth grader seemed to be when he came home from school ; in
fact , she ...
Page 121
repeatedly commented on how much they were in love . Generally , if one spouse
felt good about the marriage , the other tended to as well . The question is how
patterns of daily interaction differ for people in happy and distressed marriages .
repeatedly commented on how much they were in love . Generally , if one spouse
felt good about the marriage , the other tended to as well . The question is how
patterns of daily interaction differ for people in happy and distressed marriages .
Page 147
37 When adolescents are happy , their mothers are likely to become happy . For
example , when an eighth - grade boy in our study was thrilled by his good
performance in a speech for a science fair , his mother was also thrilled . In
another ...
37 When adolescents are happy , their mothers are likely to become happy . For
example , when an eighth - grade boy in our study was thrilled by his good
performance in a speech for a science fair , his mother was also thrilled . In
another ...
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DIVERGENT REALITIES: The Emotional Lives of Mothers, Fathers, and Adolescents
User Review - KirkusA soundly researched and lucidly written survey of the daily emotional experience of mothers, fathers, and adolescents in 55 European-American working- and middle-class families. The book is based on ... Read full review
Divergent realities: the emotional lives of mothers, fathers, and adolescents
User Review - Not Available - Book VerdictThis book emerged from a study in which triads of mothers, fathers, and young adolescents (ages 10-14) from suburban white families were provided with beepers that rang at random times throughout the ... Read full review
Contents
A BREW OF EMOTIONS | 1 |
CYCLES OF WORK AND LEISURE | 43 |
INTERWEAVING WORK AND RELATIONSHIPS | 69 |
Copyright | |
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able activities adjustment adolescents amount anger appeared appendix asked attention average become beeped better boys changes chapter child close compared correlated couples create daily daughter depression described distress early effect employed enjoy example experience experienced fact family members fathers felt figure frequent friends getting girls going grade greater happy household housework husbands important interactions involved Larson leisure less lives look marital marriage means men's mood mothers needs negative emotions night occurred parents pattern percent play positive problems realities relationship reported feeling responsibility role sample shared situation social spend spent sphere stress suggest talking tasks teenagers teens things tion traditional trying understand unhappy versus viewing warm warmth watching week well-being wife wives women young