Divergent Realities: The Emotional Lives Of Mothers, Fathers, And AdolescentsFamily dysfunction has been blamed on many causes - the absence of fathers, mothers working outside the home, lack of money or social supports. But, argue the authors of this original and provocative book, it is often presence rather than absence that lies at the heart of troubled families. In fact, they show that it is common for family members to be in the same room and yet be oblivious to each other's thoughts and feelings. Family life breaks down because members experience the same event in different ways and are unable to bridge the gap. How can adolescents and well-meaning parents be so out of touch? What are the daily sources of conflict between husbands and wives? What windows of opportunity does contemporary life provide for family members to talk with and appreciate each other? To answer these questions, the authors used the unique Experience Sampling Method. Fathers, mothers, and adolescents carried electronic pagers for a week and provided reports on their activities and emotions at random times when signaled by the researchers. Already employed to great effect in studying individuals (the method served as the basis for Larson and Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi's book Being Adolescent and the latter's Flow), this is the first time this technique has been used to uncover the dynamics of family life. The result is an unprecedented study revealing the hour-by-hour emotional realities lived by families in middle America: the daily clash between fathers, who experience their family life as a refuge, and working mothers, who arrive home each evening to a six o'clock "crash"; between the world of young adolescents, whose emotions can be perilously out of check, and their parents, whoselives focus on emotional equilibrium. The authors demonstrate that these and many other divergent realities provide a breeding ground for dysfunctional family processes, and they discuss creative ways for families to surmount the emotional hazards of everyday life. |
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Page 120
... angry and upset because he felt they were getting a “ dirty deal . ” Sure enough , at the next beep at 9:03 P.M. ... anger about a hot dog stand , massaging their spouse's back when he is sore from work , and cleaning wax out of his ear ...
... angry and upset because he felt they were getting a “ dirty deal . ” Sure enough , at the next beep at 9:03 P.M. ... anger about a hot dog stand , massaging their spouse's back when he is sore from work , and cleaning wax out of his ear ...
Page 146
... angry at her mother , but Brenda reported feeling happy and close to her daughter . Remarkably , parents and adolescents have been found to agree less than half the time on whether a conflict has even occurred.31 The same divergence ...
... angry at her mother , but Brenda reported feeling happy and close to her daughter . Remarkably , parents and adolescents have been found to agree less than half the time on whether a conflict has even occurred.31 The same divergence ...
Page 181
... angry , he became authoritarian . He readily admitted to the interviewer that he had a quick temper , with a tendency toward violence . In an echo of his wife Rita's sentiments , Bud said : " When Rob gets smart with his mouth , I want ...
... angry , he became authoritarian . He readily admitted to the interviewer that he had a quick temper , with a tendency toward violence . In an echo of his wife Rita's sentiments , Bud said : " When Rob gets smart with his mouth , I want ...
Contents
A BREW OF EMOTIONS | 1 |
CYCLES OF WORK AND LEISURE | 17 |
INTERWEAVING WORK AND RELATIONSHIPS 47 | 49 |
Copyright | |
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active recreation adjustment adoles adolescent's Andrew Collins anger angry appendix arena of comfort average emotion beeped beeper behavior boys child chores conflict correlated couples Csikszentmihalyi Cyndi Lauper daily daughter depression Developmental Psychology distress early adolescence effect emotionally employed women experience family members family's fathers and adolescents felt friends girls Glenna grade happy healthier families home sphere household housework husbands husbands and wives interac interactions irritable Jerry Journal kids Larson leisure less lives marital marriage men's Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi Murray Bowen needs negative emotions pager parents pattern percent versus Pleck positive emotion positive moods Psychology puberty realities Reed Larson relationship reported feeling Richards rience role Roxanne sample Selman shared social spend spent spouse stress study reported suggest talking teenagers teens tion two-parent unhappy warmth watching TV week well-being Wendy Wendy's wife wives young adolescents Z-Score