"I see daily so much love in all my afflictions that it humbles me to the dust." After enumerating several severe trials in which her "soul was grieved, both within and without," she adds, "But blessed be my Saviour, who does all things well; he has heard and answered prayer, and I can now praise him for all my trials and temptations, which have worked for my good, and for the glory of God. Though sorrow may endure for a night, joy cometh in the morning.' The servant is not above his Lord;' if they have persecuted him, they will persecute me also; but Jesus is my friend, he has given me resignation to his will in all things. I am not my own, for I am bought with a price,' no less than Jesus's blood. Glory to God in the highest! I love all my enemies, and now I lay me down to take my rest, for the Lord will be my protector and Saviour now and ever. "There cannot be a more powerful argument to persuade us to a patient submission to divine providence, than the knowledge that for one cross we have many mercies; for one drop of evil, a sea of benefits and favours: and this we should confess, were we as careful to consider the mercies we enjoy as we are to recount the evils we suffer; and if we were duly sensible that we are less than the least of the many mercies we enjoy, and that in all our sufferings God punishes us less than we deserve. Holy Job thought it reasonable thus to argue: Shall I receive good at the hand of the Lord, and not evil?' And there is no Christian, however grievous his chastening may be for a time, but finds it was good for him to have been afflicted." 6 At a time when her body was weakened by the severe trials and exercises of her mind, she observes : 6 "My Lord is ever nigh to help me. If thou wert not to stand by me, my Saviour, I should fall a prey to my weakness; but thou art my strength. On thee I cast my care. Still continue to support me by thy power, and direct my steps. I am blind, be thou my sight: I am ignorant, be thou my wisdom: cleanse me from all filthiness of the flesh and spirit, increase my faith, and perfect me in holiness.' "Oh, my God, and my deliverer, how shall I love and praise thee as I ought. The more I see of my own vileness by nature, the more I see how much my Jesus loves me; and that merit in us, is not the condition of the gospel, but repentance and faith in the merits of a Saviour who has done so much for me. He has loved me and all my children: them he has taken to glory, where I expect to meet all my dear family. My husband, my father, and many more dear friends; not for any thing that any of us have done, no, no, but for Jesus's sake. "I want to be more devoted to God in heart and life. I see myself a poor, helpless creature. Oh God! enlarge my heart to make thee room. I want more love, more faith, more patience, more humility, more meekness. Lord, supply my every want from thy fulness, for by grace I must be saved. VOL. VIIL. 'Jesus, thy blood and righteousness The things of this world I desire to be thankful for, as blessings from my heavenly Father; but this will not suffice, 'From nobler springs my joys arise, From higher sources come.' These few extracts will present a fair sample of her diary, which is one continued breathing out of her soul in humble love and holy resignation, as if this precept of the apostle had been the motto of her life, "Be careful for nothing; but in every thing by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known unto God." And many are the aspirations of prayer, and many the returns of a thankful heart which are there recorded; and while she could bless her Saviour for the roughness of her path, and praise him even for its thorns, not a flower sprung up before her and around her, unheeded or unblessed; even the every day mercies of going out and coming in safely, which we are so apt, as common mercies, to receive each moment and each hour forget, called forth her warmest gratitude. Happy the Christians who thus trace each stream of comfort to its source, and take their richest draughts from that fountain whose "streams make glad the city of God." Thus passed the days of her widowhood, "trusting in God, and continuing in supplication day and night." Of her it might indeed be written, "Well reported of for good works. She has brought up children, lodged strangers, washed the saints' feet, relieved the afflicted, diligently followed every good work." But a new era in her life commenced, and she thus records her second marriage with Mr. T. Carpenter, who, like herself, had long been an esteemed member of the Methodist Episcopal church. "April 29, 1808. By a variety of unaccountable providences I was married to Mr. Thomas Carpenter, and I trust by the direction of my God, to whom I have made prayer and supplication ever since I was acquainted with the intention of my friend. Oh! may our union be for His glory, and the good of the church militant; and when we shall be parted by death may we join the church triumphant, to praise our Jesus for redeeming love through all eternity." This marriage made no difference in her mode of living, she had met with a "true yokefellow," and her house was still an asylum for the destitute, a refuge for the afflicted, and a home for the stranger: but though she had in some respects enlarged her sphere of usefulness, and again saw gathered around the "dear domestic hearth," those who could address her by the tender appellations of wife and mother, she yet experienced the truth of that scripture, "whom the Lord loveth he chasteneth ;" and her soul felt that life is but a pilgrimage to a better and more enduring city. She was called upon, near the close of life, to part with much of this world's good; and through the grace of God assisting her, she could resign all her worldly concerns into the hands of her Maker. In later years she made few additions to her diary, only continuing to notice remarkable days in the year, such as her natural and spiritual birthdays, the anniversary of our Saviour's incarnation, &c. From these remains, the following extracts will be both profitable and interesting. In 1806-7, she writes : "My soul is still going out after God. My mercies are very great, therefore I want to be more humble and grateful. My soul is not satisfied with my progress in the divine life. I often feel condemned in my mind that I am not more useful: too much busied about the world, which takes up my time; but (blessed be God) not my heart. Though my hands are employed, I wear the world as a loose garment, willing to give it up whenever my Master calls. Though my body continues below, I am not my own: Lord give me grace to hold out unto my life's end! By grace I am saved, through faith' in the merits of Jesus, and not of myself: it is thy gift, O my God! Glory to Father, Son, and Holy Ghost. Continually looking to the blessed Jesus 'In all my afflictions, he keeps me to prove His utmost salvation, his fulness of love.' I feel myself a poor unworthy, unprofitable creature, with nothing to recommend me to God. I disclaim all I have done or can do: my trust is in Jesus, and in him alone. Were it not for the gift of faith I should despair. Oh, for an increase of faith and love, that I may glorify him in whom I trust! I often feel ashamed that I am not more engaged in his service. I want to speak and act more for God than I do. Oh Lord, lay not the sin of omission to my charge, but forgive it for Christ's sake. "Dec. 26. I feel a grateful sense of the love of God in sparing me to see the returning season, (a season long to be remembered by me,) when the Lord spoke peace to my soul by bidding me be of good cheer. My sins were forgiven, my burden was removed, my soul filled with love to God and man, and by his grace I am what I am, stripped of all, but dependance on the merits and righteousness of my Saviour. "August 22, 1816. This day 64 years ago I was born; and blessed be my God that I was born to be born again. Glory to God for calling me to repentance in my youth! He converted my soul and opened a heaven of love in my heart, which has been increasing ever since. I have to complain of my slothfulness and small improvement, but God has borne with my negligence, my sins of omission and commission, and has loved me notwithstanding all I have done. Jesus intercedes for me, and now, as at first, I come a poor helpless sinner, with nothing to recommend myself: none but Jesus, who is the helpless sinner's Friend; and in this faith I hope to live and die. "August 22d, 1817. This day I am permitted to record the 65th year of my age, in health of body, happy in Jesus' love, and in love and peace with all men. My soul cries out for more of his love, that I may live more to his glory, that the remainder of my days may be spent in his praise. I feel ashamed before God when I look back to the past, that so little of my time has been devoted to him; so much to the cares of the world: but, through the blood and righteousness of Jesus, who knows my heart's desire, I shall be accepted of my Father. "Dec. 1817. This day thirty-nine years my God spoke peace to my soul in St. Paul's church, just before sacrament, saying 'Daughter be of good cheer, thy sins are all forgiven.' Oh how shall I give Him praise and honour, who has done so much for me! Though my unworthiness is great, my faith in the merits of Christ is strong. In him I have peace. 'Here I'll raise my ebenezer, Hither by thy help I'm come.' May my last be my best days. May I live more to thy glory, my dear Redeemer, that when thou shalt have done with me as seemeth thee good, thou wilt give me grace to triumph over death, and shout victory through thy name. Even this moment, while writing, I feel thy love enabling me to rejoice, not in sparks of my own kindling; no, but in the Lord, and in the remembrance of his goodness to my soul. "August 22, 1818. By the goodness and love of God, my Creator, I live to record my sixty-sixth birthday. God is still the same loving, tender, and kind friend to me, and he has been an unchangeable Friend to me ever since I was born; from my youth he has followed me by His Holy Spirit, and has at length got the victory in my heart. Glory to his holy name! I think I have followed the leadings of the Holy Spirit, and am now by his grace and power enabled to lie like clay in the hands of the potter. This summer I have been sorely tried, but not left to myself. The grace of God has been sufficient. I now feel willing to depart and be with Christ:' not my will, but thine be done. If my Saviour has any thing more for me to do, His will is mine. I feel myself given up to him. I am nothing, and have nothing to recommend myself. Jesus is my all, and in all. 'Jesus, thy blood and righteousness My beauty are, my glorious dress; 'Midst flaming worlds, in these array'd, With joy shall I lift up my head.' Glory! glory to God! that I was born to be born again of the Spirit! While I write my heart rejoices in God my Saviour. Thank God for trials, and for grace to bear them. "Dec. 1818. This day by the grace and power of God I have lived to see the fortieth year of my espousals to Christ, in St. Paul's church, on sacrament day, and I still find my Jesus present to bless and comfort me. As at first my soul is full: Oh, glorious hope of immortality! my body is drawing toward the grave, and my soul to heaven; there is my portion and my all, through the merits of Jesus Christ, who came to save sinners; and blessed be his holy name, he has never left or forsaken me since first he spoke peace to my soul, but has ever been my support, and 'In all my afflictions, has kept me to prove The depth of salvation, the heaven of love."" Thus is closed the last record which Mrs. Carpenter made of her natural or spiritual birthdays. Of the six succeeding years of her life, she has left few notices in her diary, but from those few we learn that her Lord continued to purify her through suffering, and that he supported her in every adverse hour; so that she was enabled still to cry, "not my will, O Lord, but thine, be done." For six more years she was spared as an example to her family and friends, and at length, in the 73d year of her pilgrimage, she sweetly fell asleep in Jesus. The following interesting letter from her bereaved husband will give the particulars of her death. "Believing that it would be gratifying to you to receive from me some account of the decease of your friend, my dear companion, I make the following short communication: "My own affliction prevented my having much conversation with her during her last illness. For some days previous to my attack, she had been quite ill, but not more so than she had frequently been before. The alarming nature of my case seemed to have a considerable effect on her mind, and as my danger increased her weakness also increased. About two days previous to her decease I went to her as she sat in her chair, and having seated myself by her and taken her hand, we conversed at some length on the subject of our dissolution. I had told her on several occasions that I believed the Lord would spare me for her sake, but now it appeared doubtful. In the course of this conversation she reminded me of a dream she had several years ago, which left an impression on her mind that we should not long survive each other, (this may yet be true.) From this time her weakness and difficulty of breathing increased; my daughters were alarmed at her symptoms, and the physician pronounced her case dangerous, but charged my daughters not to inform me, lest it should have an unhappy influence on my mind. Shortly after this a kind of stupor ensued, and she became indifferent to all kinds of nourishment. The evening before her death my daughters prepared a tea, which she had usually taken during her complaints, but she declined taking it. Hearing this, I left my bed and prevailed on her to take it. This was the last time I spoke to her. Through the night she seemed to sleep quietly, and as often as I inquired after her I was informed that she appeared to be in a sweet sleep. Thus she passed the night of the 4th inst. in apparently calm sleep, without that difficulty of breathing which had been so painful to her, and so alarming to the family. No change took place until about 7 o'clock on the morning of the 5th, (October) when she fell asleep in the arms of her blessed Redeemer. There was no struggle, nor even a sigh or groan that denoted her approaching change. Thus closed our union of between sixteen and seventeen years, during which time she was to me a help-mate indeed, and I derive much consolation from the reflection that I have done all that lay in my power to render her life comfortable. It would have been very gratifying to me could I have conversed with her in her last moments; but this privilege was denied me. The Lord seemed to answer my prayers in one respect: I had often |