Divergent Realities: The Emotional Lives Of Mothers, Fathers, And Adolescents
Family dysfunction has been blamed on many causes - the absence of fathers, mothers working outside the home, lack of money or social supports. But, argue the authors of this original and provocative book, it is often presence rather than absence that lies at the heart of troubled families. In fact, they show that it is common for family members to be in the same room and yet be oblivious to each other's thoughts and feelings. Family life breaks down because members experience the same event in different ways and are unable to bridge the gap.
How can adolescents and well-meaning parents be so out of touch? What are the daily sources of conflict between husbands and wives? What windows of opportunity does contemporary life provide for family members to talk with and appreciate each other?
To answer these questions, the authors used the unique Experience Sampling Method. Fathers, mothers, and adolescents carried electronic pagers for a week and provided reports on their activities and emotions at random times when signaled by the researchers. Already employed to great effect in studying individuals (the method served as the basis for Larson and Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi's book Being Adolescent and the latter's Flow), this is the first time this technique has been used to uncover the dynamics of family life.
The result is an unprecedented study revealing the hour-by-hour emotional realities lived by families in middle America: the daily clash between fathers, who experience their family life as a refuge, and working mothers, who arrive home each evening to a six o'clock "crash"; between the world of young adolescents, whose emotions can be perilously out of check, and their parents, whose lives focus on emotional equilibrium. The authors demonstrate that these and many other divergent realities provide a breeding ground for dysfunctional family processes, and they discuss creative ways for families to surmount the emotional hazards of everyday life.
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A cold shoulder , a harsh word , they did not tell us exactly what was said — but suddenly Jerry and Glenna's closeness was shattered and both felt angry and distant from each other . Jerry dealt with his anger at her by withdrawing .
Both Bud and Rob used the extremes of the scales to identify how irritable and angry they felt . Rob added , “ I wish I could leave town before I ... As with the topic of sex , teens and fathers do not do well with sadness and anger .
Because of this power , even a small gesture or the threat of anger may sometimes influence others ' feelings . One mother said that when her husband is in a bad mood the " kids start to bounce off each other ; they don't know how to ...
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DIVERGENT REALITIES: The Emotional Lives of Mothers, Fathers, and AdolescentsUser Review - Kirkus
A soundly researched and lucidly written survey of the daily emotional experience of mothers, fathers, and adolescents in 55 European-American working- and middle-class families. The book is based on ... Read full review
Divergent realities: the emotional lives of mothers, fathers, and adolescentsUser Review - Not Available - Book Verdict
This book emerged from a study in which triads of mothers, fathers, and young adolescents (ages 10-14) from suburban white families were provided with beepers that rang at random times throughout the ... Read full review
A BREW OF EMOTIONS
CYCLES OF WORK AND LEISURE
INTERWEAVING WORK AND RELATIONSHIPS
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