Behind the Mask: Destruction and Creativity in Women’s Aggression

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Harvard University Press, Jun 30, 2009 - Social Science - 332 pages

This boldly original book explores the origins, meanings, and forms of women's aggression. Drawing from in-depth interviews with sixty women of different ages and ethnic and class backgrounds--police officers, attorneys, substance abusers, homemakers, artists--Dana Jack provides a rich account of how women explain (or explain away) their own hidden or actual acts of hurt to others. With sensitivity but without sentimentality, Jack gives readers a range of compelling stories of how women channel, either positively or destructively, their own powerful force and of how they resist and retaliate in the face of others' aggression in a society that expects women to be yielding, empathetic, and supportive.

Arguing that aggression arises from failures in relationships, Jack portrays the many forms that women's aggression can take, from veiled approaches used to resist, control, and take vengeance on others, to aggression that reflects despair, to aggression that may be a hopeful sign of new strength. Throughout the book, Jack shows the positive sides of aggression as women struggle with internal and external demons, reconnect with others, and create the courage to stand their ground. This work broadens our understanding of aggression as an interpersonal phenomenon rooted in societal expectations, and offers exciting new approaches for exploring the variations of this vexing human experience.

From inside the book

Contents

Hearkening to Womens Voices
1
1 The Puzzle of Aggression
11
2 Ways of Occupying Space
52
3 Why Not Hurt Others?
111
4 The Rage of Disconnection
155
5 Masking Aggression
188
6 Creating New Ground
238
Notes
285
References
297
Acknowledgments
311
Index
313
Copyright

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Page 26 - An employer who objects to aggressiveness in women but whose positions require this trait places women in an intolerable and impermissible Catch 22: out of a job if they behave aggressively and out of a job if they do not. Title VII lifts women out of this bind.
Page 147 - THE ORDINARY RESPONSE TO ATROCITIES is to banish them from consciousness. Certain violations of the social compact are too terrible to utter aloud: this is the meaning of the word unspeakable.
Page 214 - She jerks her coat closer to her. I look. I do not see whatever terrible thing she is seeing on the seat between us — probably a roach. But she has communicated her horror to me. It must be something very bad from the way she's looking, so I pull my snowsuit closer to me away from it, too. When I look up the woman is still staring at me, her nose holes and eyes huge. And suddenly I realize there is nothing crawling up the seat between us; it is me she doesn't want her coat to touch.
Page 31 - On the negative side, the mother archetype may connote anything secret, hidden, dark; the abyss, the world of the dead, anything that devours, seduces, and poisons, that is terrifying and inescapable like fate
Page 288 - ... response to revelations of wifely infidelity; women almost never respond similarly, though their mates are more often adulterous. The evidence is overwhelming that a large proportion of the spousekillings perpetrated by wives, but almost none of those perpetrated by husbands, are acts of self-defense. Unlike men, women kill male partners after years of suffering physical violence, after they have exhausted all available sources of assistance, when they feel trapped, and because they fear for...
Page 32 - I will do you reverence, and protect you, and yield you service, and you, for your part, will hold fast to an ideal of gentleness, of personal refinement, of modesty, of joyous maternity, and to who shall say what other graces and virtues that endear women to men', that is Chivalry.
Page 214 - I don't like to talk about hate. I don't like to remember the cancellation and hatred, heavy as my wished-for death, seen in the eyes of so many white people from the time I could see. It was echoed in newspapers and movies and holy pictures and comic books and Amos 'n
Page 288 - ... causes, two things are clear: First, people do not behave independently of the way they conceptualize their behavior. Second, an important task of psychology is to account for the origins and functions of the relevant conceptualizations. To summarize, the typical instigation to anger is a value judgment. More than anything else, anger is an attribution of blame. The attribution may not always be correct or free from self-serving biases, and it may be influenced by a host of factors (eg, frustration,...
Page 32 - ... that is chivalry." The historian Gail Bederman observes: "If either sex broke this compact, all bets were off. When a woman became violent, unrefined, ungrateful, or 'when she places a quite extravagantly high estimate upon her intellectual powers,
Page 214 - ... there is nothing crawling up the seat between us; it is me she doesn't want her coat to touch. The fur brushes past my face as she stands with a shudder and holds on to a strap in the speeding train. Born and bred a New York City child, I quickly slide over to make room for my mother to sit down. No word has been spoken. I'm afraid to say anything to my mother because I don't know what I have done.

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