of wounds, and bruised by sin. Yea, and I abhorred myself, truly repenting before my God, and seeking him with my whole heart, in every mean of grace. I had never yet heard the Me. thodists; nor had I lost all my prejudices against them but a neighbour who had lately found peace with God, advised me strongly to go; and assured me they had been the mean of great blessings to his soul. I would not promise, but resolved to go privately, so that the preacher, nor any other person should know of it till afterwards. I soon after went at five o'clock one morning, and got into a private seat.

Mr.

Samuel Bardsley preached from, "Comfort ye, comfort ye, my people, saith your God." I thought every word was for me! He spoke to my heart, as if he had known all the secret workings there; and pointed all such sinners, as I felt myself to be, to Jesus Crucified. Í was much comforted; my prejudices were now fully removed, and I received a full and clear conviction, "These are the people of God, and shew, in truth, the way to salvation."

My mother had knew me to hear Every friend and

But now I had new difficulties to encounter: I knew if I persisted in hearing the Methodists, I must literally give up all. already threatened if ever she them, she would disown me. relation I had in the world, I had reason to believe would do the same. I had no acquaintance then among the Methodists to take me in; nor knew any refuge to flee to but my God! I used much prayer, and entreated him to shew me his will; when those words were powerfully

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Te

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applied, "Did ever any trust in the Lord and

were confounded?" I answered, No Lord; and I will trust in thee! But Satan suggested, "Thou hast no right to trust God; thou art not his child, but a sinner, a rebel: " I fell on my knees, and cried. Lord, I am a repent-US ing sinner, and thou knowest I have laid down my weapons of rebellion! If I perish, I will perish at thy feet! only shew me thy will, and here I am. It was then applied, "If any man will come after me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross, and follow me: I cried, Lord, I will forsake all, and follow thee: I V will joyfully bear thy cross; only give me thyself! From that time I resolved, I would, at all hazards, attend the preaching. I did so at all opportunities, and it was a great comfort

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to me.

But when my mother heard of it, a floodgate of persecution opened upon me. In this time of need, God raised me up a friend, in my uncle Roe, who prevented my mother turning me out of doors. Yet what I suffered, sometimes through her tears and intreaties, and, at other times, her severity, is known only to God. But he strengthened a feeble worm, and enabled me to endure all with meekness, as seeing him who is invisible. For eight weeks, however, I was closely confined. My godmother came to talk with me; so did my mo. ther's brother, and my father's sister; also a clergyman, and several others. But the Lord gave me a mouth and wisdom to

C

plead my own

cause, with arguments from his word, so that they were, in some measure, all put to silence.

In August, my mother took me with her to Adlington, on our usual summer's visit; though now quite contrary to my inclination: for I found it a great grief to be separated from the means of grace, and from the dear people of God. Yet I dared not to refuse her all obedi. ence, which I could render with a safe con. science. And though I believe she hoped to wean me from (what she called,) my melan. choly and enthusiasm hereby; yet the Lord kept me steadfast and immoveable. The deep sense I had of my own weakness and inability to resist evil, or follow that which is good; and the great fears I had of ever again grieving the Holy Spirit, lest he should strive with me no more for ever; convinced me of the absolute need of using much and constant prayer. I, therefore, left all company many times in a day, to retire in secret. I refused to conform

in dress, or in any thing my conscience disapproved; and when called upon, gave reasons for my conduct, as the Lord enabled me; but always with meekness, and often with tears of self-abasement: so that, in a little time, find. ing all their efforts vain, they began to let me alone. Only I was made to understand, I had now nothing to expect from my god-mother, as to temporal things. This, however, weighed no. thing with me, for all my language was,

"None but Christ to me be given.

None but Christ in earth or heaven."

In October we returned home, and I now reasoned with my mother, and entreated her - not to confine me any more; telling her, in humility, and yet plainness, "I must seek sal-vation to my soul whatever is the consequence; and in order to obtain the end, I must use the means. I am, therefore, determined to leave you, and go to be a servant, rather than keep from the Methodists. Yet, if you will consent to it, I should greatly prefer continuing in your house, though it should be as your servant; and I am willing to undertake all the work of the house, if you will only suffer me to attend preaching." She listened to my proposals; and after consulting with her friends, consented to comply on this last condition; for she and they were agreed, that I, who had never been accustomed to hard labour, would soon be weary, and give it up. But they knew not the power and goodness of that God who strengthened me in all my tribulation.

November the 1st, I entered upon my new employments joyfully; undertaking my every labour for his sake, who bled for me on Cal

vary ! And I began to feel, at times, much comfort, and reviving hopes, that my redemption drew near; and that the happy hour, when I should praise a pardoning God, was at hand. Mr. Wesley's Sermon on Justification, was a great encouragement to me, from those words, "To him that worketh not, but believeth on him that justifieth the ungodly, his faith is imputed for righteousness." This sermon I read

many times over with prayer, and could, some. times, almost embrace the promises.

On Monday, November 10, I had strong conflicts with Satan, who told me I had as good give up all, for I should never obtain a pardon ; I had sinned beyond hope. I felt my heart very hard, and he suggested, "This is a proof God has given thee up to hardness and impenitence. Where is thy repentance and tears, and brokenness of heart? If thou couldst repent, and weep, and mourn like others, there would be hope; but where is thy sorrow for sin ? Thou canst not shed a tear." I was so burdened and distressed that day, that I could not go forward with my work; and my mother reproached me. But I beseeched the Throne of Grace, with strong crying and supplications, to him that was able to save, and who well knew the Spirit's groanings in my heart.

My cousin Charles Roe, then much devoted to God, put into my hands a little pamphlet, entitled, "The Great Duty of Believing on the Son of God." Jesus was here set forth in all his loveliness of free-grace, towards a poor, returning prodigal, as every way suited to the sinner's wants; and all-sufficient to save the vilest of the vile. As willing now, even as when he hung on Calvary, bleeding and dying to save sinners; yea, his very murderers! I was much encouraged in reading this, and would gladly have spent the night in prayer! but my mother, (with whom I slept,) would not suffer it. I, therefore, went to bed, but could not