into internal and external, and making the latter only concern the unregenerate, wore a suspicious appearance. But as I perceived this reasoning would affect the whole tenor of my preaching, I moved on with slow and trembling steps; and having to feel my way out of a labyrinth, I was a long time ere I felt satisfied.

My mind was also frequently diverted to other subjects of inquiry. In the first year of my ministry, books were put into my hands which led me to consider certain questions in divinty, which it might easily be thought were improper for me at the age of twenty. One was on the pre-existence of Christ's human soul before he was born of the Virgin. Another was on the Sonship of Christ; or whether the character of the only-begotten Son of God would ever have belonged to him, if he had not been the son of Mary? These things would not have occupied my mind, had they not been suggested by others. Yet I have reason to thank God, that they were the occasion of fixing my judgment: and I have since perceived that every thing pertaining to the person of Christ is of more than ordinary importance,

"Concerning the first, I was led to see that the potion of Christ's human soul existing before the creation of the world was unfounded, and tended to undermine his proper divinity.

It is true, this notion was held by Dr. Watts, and I examined his reasoning, but without obtaining satisfaction.* In consequence of the examination I made at that time, I was enabled afterwards to repel an attack from a company of ministers, who were warm for that opinion. When they put it to me, I offered to prove that it led to Athesim or relinquish the argument. They accepted my offer. 1 began by saying, 'You suppose the human soul of Christ to be a party in the everlasting counsels of God? Yes, God could not take counsel with himself, for a council implies more than one; but God is one.'-Yet you do not suppose the soul of Christ to have always existed?'' No, it was created, and therefore could not be eternal.' Then you must suppose that till the great God had a creature to take counsel with, he had no plan-prior to this act of creation he was without counsel, without plan, without design! But a being without plan, purpose, or design, is not God!!! Thus you are landed on Atheism. The truth is, God never was without his plan, purpose, or design. By applying, too, those passages of scripture which express the pre-existence of Christ, and thereby prove his divinity, to the pre-existence of his human soul, you

* See Jonathan Edwards's Miscellaneous Observations on Important Theological Subjects, pp. 469-473.

undermine his divinity, and favour the Arian hypothesis.'

"Respecting the other question, I took considerable pains in searching the New Testament. The question was, Whether Christ was ever called the Son of God in respect of his pre-incarnate person, as the second person in the Godhead? I found such proof that he was, as quite satisfied me that he was the Son of God antecedently to his being born of a woman, and that in calling God his own Father, he made himself equal with God. Had I not been initiated into these principles at an early period, I should not have been able to write the treatise against Socinianism, which I have no cause to regret having written.

"Besides these, I was much perplexed, about the same time, with the writings of Mr. John Johnson, of Liverpool, and for some time favoured his sentiments. My pastor had indeed been one of his admirers. There were two things in particular for which he pleaded: that God did not and could not decree to permit evil, without being the author of it;and that he would have glorified his elect, though sin had never intervened! The way in which I obtained satisfaction as to the first, was, I perceived that God had permitted evil; and that which he had done it could not be wrong to decree or purpose to do, unless it were wrong to purpose to do what is right.

And as to the second, I thought it was idle to speculate on what God could or would have done concerning his elect, if sin had never existed, when all his revealed counsels went on the supposition of it's existence: even the incarnation of his Son was to destroy the works of the devil!' Bunyan would have called these questions, 'Nuts, which spoil the children's teeth.' I have considered an attachment to them as resembling the chewing of certain narcotics, of which, though they are generally disagreeable at first, yet by a little use of them, some persons become so fond, as to prefer them to their bread. They were things, however, after which I did not seek, but they fell in my way, and I am thankful now that they did.

"The next year, 1775, I visited London, where I met with a pamphlet, the contents of which revived all my doubts on what was called the High Calvinistic system; or the system of Dr. Gill, Mr. Brine, and others, as to the duty of sinners, and of ministers in addressing them. It was written by Dr. Abraham Taylor of London. It was not so much his reasoning, however, as the passages of scripture which he brought forward, and which made so deep au impression on my mind, that I could not forget them, nor help feeling that my preaching was anti-scriptural and defective in many respects.

That summer I was ordained pastor of the church at Soham, and became acquainted with Mr. Robert Hall, of Arnsby, who came seventy miles to my ordination, and continued my father and friend till his death. In 1776 I became acquainted with Mr. Sutcliff, who had lately come to Olney; and soon after with Mr. John Ryland, jun. then of Northampton. In them I found familiar and faithful brethren; and who, partly by reflection, and partly by reading the writings of Edwards, Bellamy, Brainerd, &c. had begun to doubt of the system of False Calvinism to which they had been inclined when they first entered on the ministry, or rather to be decided against it. But as I lived sixty or seventy miles from them, I seldom saw them, and did not correspond upon the subject. I therefore pursued my inquiries by myself, and wrote out the substance of what I afterwards published under the title of The Gospel worthy of all Acceptation; or, the Obligations of Men cordially to believe what ever God makes known.

"My change of views on these subjects never abated my zeal for the doctrine of salvation by grace, but in some respects increased it. I never had any predilection for Arminianism, which appeared to me to ascribe the difference between one sinner and another, not to the grace of God, but to the good improvement made of grace given us in common with others.