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is in competition with him. Readers and Curates, of all others, are ufually poftpon'd for this Jof. iii. 21. veryReason; that being a kind of Drawers of Water, and Hewers of Wood to the rest of the Tribe, the Promotion of them wou'd be robbing the Church of fo many useful Drudges: Juft as an Army is fometimes fuppos'd to fuffer, by advancing its old experienc'd Serjeants.

18.

OR were he allow'd, in want of other Preferments, to make the beft of his Intereft in the Parish, fome good and charitable Hands might perhaps lighten his Burden, and by a seasonable I Cor. xvi. Contribution, now and then refresh his Spirit, as the Apostle calls it, and those of his Family. But, as if the Rector were fole Proprietor, not of the Tithes and Oblations only, but of all the Bounty and Munificence of his Parishioners, he has the Curate under formal Stipulation, not to detain any thing of this kind; and if at any time he finds him fmuggling, away he must troop, without a Recommendation, elsewhere, and confequently in an happy Capacity of starving ever after.

NAY, were he allow'd to have his Share in the Peoples Oblations at the Altar (and for my Heart, to read over the Sentences at the Offertory, I cannot but think that he has a Right to his Share and Proportion in them) this might be fome fmall Acceffion to a scanty Salary; at leaft fome Prefervative to his own Pocket, by having wherewith (of the publick Stock) to relieve the piercing Wants of fuch miferable Objects as are every Day under his Vifitation. But here again the Rector and Parifh-Officers ftep in and sweep away all; fome to be guzzled and confumed in Taverns, and fome to be fquandred away in Coach-hire, and Attendance on great Mens Levees, to the won

derful

derful Diminution of Parifh-Rates, and the great Comfort and Confolation of many poor Families.

NAY, to defcend lower ftill, were he but allowed to hold fome other little Bufinefs in Commendam with his Curacy (as many good things are held in Commendam we know) what he lacked one way, might happily be supply'd another: But oh! as if his particular Fatality were ftill to be poor, the whole * Canons of the Church, we are told, are levell'd point blank against any fuch Indulgence; he must not follow any Trade or worldly Labour upon pain of Excommunication: tho' the great Apoftle of the Gentiles, under Circumftances of much fuch Neceffity, made this his Boaft and his Triumph once; Acts xxi Thefe Hands have miniftred to my Wants.

30.

BUT inftead of labouring with his Hands, may he not exert his Intellectuals, and, after fome Flourishes about Town, cut down all before him, and come in full Victor to fome CityLecture, which, with a little chopping and changing, and now and then hiring a fixpenny Reader, may be held in Commendam, to his Heart's Defire? He may do this indeed, if he can but undergo the Trouble and Fatigue, the Proftitution of himself and his Character, and oftentimes the wear of Confcience, as well as wear of Shoe-Leather that attends fuch popular Canvaffings. St. Paul tells of fome in his Days that preached Chrift of Envy, Strife, and Con- Phil. i. tention, fuppofing to add Affliction to his Bonds. 15, 16 I could make my Reader merry with fome notatable Exploits of our modern Pulpit PrizeFighters; but that it is real Affliction to all fober Minds, and ought to be more fo, to fuch

Vid. Can. 75, 768

as have the Correction of fuch Abuses in their Power; to fee with what envious Emulation, and Contention for Maftery in the worst of Senses; what flandring and Defamation of one another; what ploting and caballing; what mean Arts of Popularity, fawning and glavering upon the worst of Men, cringing to Bulks, and complimenting Madams behind the Counter, with fine invented Words to win the Women, and by them draw in their Husbands; is every where practis'd by fuch as intend to fucceed in their Elections. He that will not fubmit to this (and a Man of conscious Worth will fubmit to starve fooner) must for ever defpair of being the happy Candidate, with his Name triumphantly recorded in the Weekly Journal.

BUT if he cannot thus buftle for Preferment Abroad, may he not keep at Home in his Garret, and there write Sermons or Pamphlets, or other Penny-Merriments, to help out a little, and bring him in fometimes a Spell by way of Augmentation? A pretty Employ for a learned Divine! But Sermons, alas! who will read them? a Baker's Dozen for Twelve Pence! turpe & miferabile! or where's the bold Man that will give them the publishing without a proper Security for the Charge of their Impreffion? Clergymen of all others too, may, without Difparagement, be prefum'd to be leaft qualify'd to drefs up any thing to the prefent Tafte; where there must be a great deal of Scandal, fome Spices of Infidelity, a Lard or two of Smut, and here and there a good sprinkling of difguis'd Treafon, to give it the Run and Approbation of the Town. For ever must they defpair of fucceeding in any Compofition of Wit, be it but a Song or Madrigal,who have traded all along in Text and Context, in dull Morality and plain Profe, and have nothing

nothing now, in the Decline of Life, to invite the Muses to, but a Cup of acid Tiff and a Pipe of vile Mundungus.

Neque enim cantare fub antro

Pierio, Thyrfumve poteft contingere faná
Paupertas, atque aris inops, quo nocte, dieque
Corpus eget. Satur eft cum dicit Horatius Euboe.

Juv. Sat. 7.

BUT if he cannot live by his Wits at Home, the Seas are open, you know, and Churches there are enough vacant in foreign Countries, where, by planting the Gospel, he may be fure to get plenty of Sugar to his Rice-Milk, and whole Hogfheads of Tobacco (if he can but compafs an equal Quantity of Liquor) to regale with. My Lord, my Heart's Defire and Prayer Rom. x. z. to God is, that Chrift's Kingdom may be enlarg'd, and the Light of the Gospel extended over the Face of the whole Earth. For this Purpofe, I could wish to fee fome of our great and learned Divines, that fit so gravely debating the Matter at the lower End of the Board, giving us, for once, a Specimen of their Zeal, quitting their Habitations, and refigning their rich Livings, to go upon the great Errand of Propagation. They might then expect, from among the Inferior Clergy, a Train of able and ingenious Preachers following their Examples, and attending their Travels; a little better appointed and more competent for the Work, I hope, than fuch

poor ftarv'd Striplings as are now commonly made ufe of, or fuch fugitive and infolent Wretches as make their Miffion a fafe Efcape and Protection from a Goal. Things then would look as if we were in earneft; we might then, in fome

Time,

time, vie Succeffes with the Church of Rome But in the prefent Managment of this Affair, there feems to be more of the Expedient in it to ease the Church of a Superfotation, by shipping off fuch as would be lazy or fcandalous, or noify and clamarous for Preferment here, than any certain Profpect of better Accomodation; for where the Attendance for Admiffion is so tedious, the Encouragement for going fo fmall, and the Reception, if at any time they return, so very cold, Men of Senfe and Sufficiency will be backward in offering themselves, whatever their good Friend the tall Arch-Deacon may fay, by way of Stale and Decoy, to draw them in.

THUS, my Lord, we have examined most of the things, that may any ways be helpful to the poor Man's Circumstances: And, upon the whole, the best that we can do, is to advise him to fit down contented with his thirty_Pounds per Annum; for that is the common Run, and all that he must expect, without a miraculous Accident indeed.

AND is this a fufficient Recompence for all the Carking, and Care, and anxious Thought that the good old Father has been at; ftarving himself in a manner, and injuring the reft of his Children, to breed this Son a Scholar, that Nature had better fitted for a * Plowman? Was it for this, that the poor Lad at School was † dieted fo long with Rules and Exceptions, with tiresome Repetitions of Amo's and Turlo's and lafh'd fo feverely for every Tranfgreffion againft Lilly, or Infringment upon old Prifcian? Is this an equivalent for the Fatigue of a ftu

* Si duri puer ingeni videtur

Præconem facias.

MAR. Lib. 5. Ep. 56.

t Grounds of the Contempt of the Clergy, p. 28.

dious

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