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were, ere they fet foot in the university; one was a publican, another a smith, a third a barber, and a fourth a teacher under W-y, as it is written by the Rev. Dr. Oxonienfis, Gazetteer, No 12199, April 8, 1768; and I wot, my beloved, though my kindred are profeffors of fuch arts, they are to be held as dangerous, therefore must not be tolerated by the clergy.

First, and foremost, The clergy have suffered much discontent from the blacksmith; and, whilst the bitterness of the loss of the abbey lands belcheth from our ftomachs, we prunella gentlemen will never forgive the blacksmiths. Quere, For why? Anfw. Because he was a blacksmith's fon, lord Thomas Cromwell by name, who stripped the church, that is to fay, the clergy, of those warm, thofe fat abbey lands. No more blacksmiths, I pray you now we'll have none of them. Therefore Mr. V- Cr did well in expelling the man, because he had been a blacksmith.

2. Another of them had been a publican, i. e. a tax-gatherer; and, I suppose, Mr. V-C thought the difference betwixt tax-gathering and tythe-gathering being fo very trifling, that after a young man had fufficiently learned at home to gather taxes, it was quite needlefs for him to come to the University to learn to gather tythes. I wot, my beloved, that the old grudge betwixt the pharifees and the publicans has not yet fubfided. For, as the learned Oxonienfis obferves, the V-Cr expelled

a man

a man the university for having been a publican.

3. And, in the next place, another had been a barber; that is to fay, a fhaver. His reverence doctor Nowel, public orator of the university, hath given it as his charitable opinion, that this fame barber can make a very good wig, from whence he lovingly concludes, that the faid barber need not to ftarve; and from whence I conclude, that he would have made a very useful member of the university. A good wig, fays Dr. Nowel, i. e. a decent, artificial covering, for a bald pate; wherefore it appears to have been very bad policy to expel fo ufeful a man, at a time when the Heads of Houses are fo bald and weather-beaten themselves; and, to our great grief, we must own, that we much fear the Doctor's learned answer to Pietas Oxonienfis had better have been fent for from the prefs, ere it had been printed, as a certain impotent answer to the Shaver is faid to have been; then would it not have given an opportunity to that delinquent, puritanic fon of our Alma Mater, to triumph over the united efforts of the Heads of Houses, as he hath done in Goliah Slain, to the great grief of all true high churchmen.

4. A fourth was a teacher in a school, under Wy. But who or what this fame Wy is, whether an hill, an old abbey, an holy college, or an oak tree, the accurate Oxonienfis does not fay. But this schoolmafter who taught under it, be it what it will, was justly expelled. For why? Because he departed

departed fo very far from the rule established among ftudents.. ftudents. The common rule obferved by the hopeful young gentlemen of the gown is, before they have so much as learned the first leffon of themselves, they conclude that they are able to teach others; witness so many dull parfons. But this man, though he had been accustomed to teach others, meanly debafed himself fo far as to receive inftructions from others; but fuch a mean opinion of one's felf being no way likely to add weight to the importance of the parfon, must not be tolerated. Ifhall not now fay any more; intending ere long to write a commentary on the 'gofpel of Oxford, as it hath been lately published by one and another, pro, and con.

HYMN

In Praise of the

UNIVERSITY.

I.

MY thanks, and the nation's, to the Doctors be given,

Thofe Guardians of Virtue, thofe Porters of Heaven,

For their timely wife care in fuppreffing the growth Of praying, expounding, and hymn-finging youth.

II.

Should praying be fuffer'd by our learned Sages (What has not been known in Ox-d for ages) Inftead of gay parfons, with cassock and band, There would be none but Puritans all o'er the land.

III.

Expounding the fcriptures! this ftill is more wicked,

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Therefore from college be they instant kicked ; For fcripture and prieftcraft as diftant do dwell, As fome PARSONS from Virtue, or HEAVEN from HELL.

IV.

We'll fwear to the rubrick, by this is our living; (Some hundreds a twelvemonth is fure worth the baving)

But we'll caft off our oaths as foon as they're fwallow'd,

For Perjury in gownfmen hath long fince been ballow'd.

ས.

Should we fuffer the doctrines to which we of yore
Gave affent and confent, and folemnly fwore
To preach, and defend them against oppofition,
We should throw ourselves wide from holy promo-

tion.

VI.

These youths with their ftri&tnefs détect our loose

living,

Which, known to the world, would keep us from thriving:

Religion's a mirror that fhews all profaneness, Exclude it we therefore to hide our own vainnefs.

VII.

If drinking, or whoring, or fcripture reviling, Had been reprefented as their daily failing, (As often in others it certainly might)

To wink at their foibles would then have been right.

VIII.

Thus alting with candour and tender forbear

ance,

Till we had reclaim'd them by patient endur

ance ;

But praying and reading, thofe horrible evils, Oblige us at once to devote them to DEVILS.

* The method purfued by the Heads of Houfes, for reclaiming Mr. Welling from his infidelity and drunkennefs; according to the reverend Dr. Nowel, and the Goliah Slayer.

AN

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