Resumes from HellResumes in this book were no doubt written with the best of intentions, but a job search can be a misadventure. A wacky resume is a sure-fire way to derail your job application and slip from the interview pile into the "joke file." In this illustrated "how not to," former recruiters Jon Reed and Rachel Meyers open up their own joke files, and share highlights from the worst (and funniest) resumes they ever received. From "Questionable References" to "Hostile Email Interactions," Jon and Rachel take the reader through more resume mishaps and job search meltdowns than they ever knew existed, sneaking in a bit of job search wisdom on the fly. The resumes in this book have been changed to protect the not-so-innocent, but Resumes from Hell is proof that truth is still stranger - and funnier - than fiction. Note that more information about the book (including author contact info) is available on resumesfromhell.com. |
Contents
What Makes Bad Resumes Funny? | 7 |
Actually Im Not As Qualified As You Think I Am | 23 |
Yeah But How Do You Really Feel? | 39 |
Generally Bad Weird | 55 |
Language Gaff | 71 |
The Odd SelfSell | 87 |
The SelfQuestionnaire 1 0 3 | 103 |
Hostile Email Interactions | 119 |
Pardon My Racism | 135 |
Maybe You Should Quit Your Day Job | 149 |
Common terms and phrases
ability Alpha Dogs applicant Architect bad resume BASIC business intelligence Captain Ahab challenge clients Cobol consulting cover letters create creative data warehousing database Dbase Dear Disgruntled Creators electronic email address employer Engineering enjoy experience fanny pack firm folks funny resume Gdog going guys Here's Hire me Hire hiring manager hope humor implementation industry interested Internet interview J.D. Edwards job order job search job seeker Job Title Jon Reed looking Lotus Notes Lyle Alzado machine marketing Microsoft Publisher motorcycle Oracle PeopleSoft person position Powerbuilder PRODUCTION professional programming Qualified Rachel Meyers recruiters relocate resume graphics resumes and cover RISC salary Sales self-questionnaire Sincerely skills someone talk technical Technology Thank things trying typos Visual Visual Basic Visual C++